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Thread: Burnistoun S1E1 - Voice Recognition Elevator - ELEVEN! (humor)

  1. #1

    Burnistoun S1E1 - Voice Recognition Elevator - ELEVEN! (humor)

    Website - bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00rqg3q

    Burnistoun on Wikipedia

  2. #2
    Article "Hilarious Video on the Perils of Voice Recognition Elevators"

    by Aaron Saenz
    April 22, 2010

    talk2lift, voice controlled elevator system, Entranet, Thessaloniki, Greece

  3. #3


    Burnistoun S1E1 - Voice Recognition Elevator - ELEVEN!

    Uploaded on Mar 18, 2010

    For those having trouble with the accent, see transcript below.

    [Iain] Where's the buttons?
    [Rob] Oh no, they've installed voice-recognition technology in this lift, they have no buttons.
    [Iain] Voice-recognition technology? In a lift? In Scotland? You ever tried voice-recognition technology?
    [Rob] No.
    [Iain] They don't do Scottish accents.
    [Rob] Eleven.
    [VOICE] Could you please repeat that?
    [Iain] Eleven.
    [Rob] Eleven. Eleven.
    [Iain] Eleven.
    [VOICE] Could you please repeat that?
    [Rob] EL-EV-EN.
    [Iain] Whose idea was this? You need to try an American accent. "E-leven. E-leven."
    [Rob] That sounds Irish, not American.
    [Iain] No it doesn't! ELEVEN.
    [Rob] Where in America is that - Dublin?
    [VOICE] I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?
    [Rob] Try an English accent. "Eelevin! Eelevin!"
    [Iain] You from the same part of England as Dick van Dyke?
    [Rob] Let's hear yours then, smartass.
    [VOICE] Please speak slowly and clearly.
    [Rob] SMARTASS.
    [Iain] Ee-lev-en.
    [VOICE] I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?
    [Iain] ELEVEN. If you don't understand the lingo, away back home to your own country!
    [Rob] Ooo, it's that talk now, is it, away back home to your own country?
    [Iain] Oh, don't start Mr. Bleeding Heart, how can you be racist to a lift?
    [VOICE] Please speak slowly and clearly.
    [Rob] Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.
    [Iain] You're just saying it the same way!
    [Rob] I'm going to keep saying it until it understands Scottish, alright?
    [Rob] Eleven. Eleven. Eleven! Eleven!
    [Iain] Oh just take us anywhere, ya cow! Just open the doors!
    [VOICE] This is a voice-activated elevator. Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner.
    [Iain] Calm? Calm? Where's that coming from? Why is it telling people to be calm?
    [Rob] Because they knew they'd be selling this to Scottish people who'd be going off their nuts at it!
    [VOICE] You have not selected a floor.
    [Rob] Aye, we have! Eleven!
    [VOICE] If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply say "Open the doors, please".
    [Iain] Please? Please?? Suck my wally.
    [Rob] Maybe we should just say "please".
    [Iain] I'm not begging that for nothing.
    [Rob] Open the doors, please.
    [Iain} "Please!" Pathetic.
    [VOICE] Please remain calm.
    [Rob] Oh! My! God! You wait until I get up there...just wait for it to speak...
    [VOICE] You have not selected a floor.
    [Rob] Up yours, ya cow! If you don't let us through these doors, I'm gonna come to America, I'm gonna find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice, and I'm gonna go to the electric chair for ye!
    [Iain] Scotland, you bastard!
    [Rob] Scotland!
    [Iain] SCOTLAND!
    [Rob] SCOOOOOTLAND!
    [Iain] FREEDOM!!
    [Rob] FREEDOM!!
    [Iain] Goin' up?

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